what's this blog thing again??

I have two windows open right now, one where I'm writing my blog entry and another that shows my latest updates so I know where I last left off. It's been almost five months!

I think I've gotten bored with blogging here. I tend to do it during breaks at work, but maybe I'm more interested in Facebook as my breaks instead, hahaha. But actually, I don't think it's just that. I also think that I'm weaning myself off of my lap band blog because, well... it's just my life now. I have developed a new normal, and I can barely imagine my life any other way now.

But that doesn't mean there isn't anything worth posting. I should check in here every now and then.

The last time I posted I said that I think I'm scared of getting too tight. Yeah, I think I was onto something there... and with good reason, too! So, I got a fill right before I last posted, but I had a very unpleasant experience almost two weeks later. I got really tight at my friend Raven's wedding, so I could barely eat anything. But that wasn't that big of a deal. I was so tight that I had really bad reflux at night! It was awful.

I've never had reflux before and never understood how it was different than heartburn (I understand now). I was so tight that I was sliming for hours one night, sitting upright on the couch trying to support my body with pillows so I could sleep sitting up. But that was only after I slimed into a cup for over four hours. UGH. Then when I tried to lay down after the sliming was over, I'd wake up choking and gagging on the corrosive nastiness that would come up through my band and into my throat. Oh, and we had some friends/other wedding guests staying with us, too, so I was self conscious on top of it all.

I knew all I had to do was be patient and the natural cycle of tightness would ease off eventually. And sure enough, it did. I know now that when I get pretty tight, I can't eat anything for four hours before I lay down. It sucks, but I'll make it work. It beats all the alternatives.

Beau and I are still seeing the personal trainer, which is good. I've still been maintaining my weight, but I know I've been turning fat into muscle because I'm a lot stronger than I was before. But it's frustrating to not see the number on the scale go down, too. However, it seems like it might be going down now, and I sure hope so. Gotta keep on keeping on.

Right before NYE, I decided that I actually need to sign up for a 5k if I want to stay motivated to do the Couch to 5k running program. I just wasn't doing enough running, so I signed up for a 5k in March. I figured that would give me a little over two months to prepare. I doubt I'll run the whole thing, but I'm still going to go and run as much as I can. I'll alternate running and walking throughout. Even Beau is going to do it with me! Oh! And a friend (who unintentionally inspired me to start c25k to begin with) is going to join me as well. She lives a couple hours away, so I'm glad to see her and to have her cheer me on. (And probably push me a little, too.)

And lastly... I've decided I want to (eventually) get a tummy tuck. I don't know when, but I've made this a goal. Ideally, I'll lose more fat first, but I finally decided that as long as I keep on exercising and doing The Right Thing and don't gain weight, I'll have the surgery whether or not I lose more actual pounds. But I have to prove my dedication to myself first. Of course, if I happen to also lose more overall pounds, that's even better! (And a better sign of dedication.) But I'll need to save up some money, too. I know it won't happen this year, and as much as I'd like to think it could happen next year, I sincerely doubt it. I can't imagine I'll have enough money saved by then. I don't have to save it all up front (as long as I can get a loan), but I want a significant chunk.

Anyway, I'm excited at the prospect! Because my ultimate goal is to be able to shop in regular sizes again. At my unhelpful six foot frame, this is going to be really tough. But darnit, I'm going to try.

I hope all is well with everyone!